An Ode To Kiruna

Posted By: Amanda Shaw - Monday, 24 February 2014  |  Comments: 0

An Ode To Kiruna

Manchester airport raring to go
With beer for breakfast (it’s the law don’t you know)
To embark on our journey of dog sledding fun
Our five day adventure had finally begun

 

beer

The girls bags fit to burst, had we all brought enough?
Think Ste had forgotten to pack half his stuff
In Kiruna we landed, snow blinding our eyes
To be greeted by Gaynor with our first big surprise

A ride with the dogs straight away, what a thrill
But first to get togged up like Eskimo Bill
Then away to the lodge through the dark snowy track
We knew there and then there was no going back

Settled in the Lodge for a welcome hot meal
Moose chilli served up for a real Arctic feel
Instructions and jobs were given out to the team
No kick offs in sight, or so it would seem

mushers team

 

Off to the cabin with our own teams in tow
Within minutes Amanda was lying in snow
Arrived at the cabin with our bones still in tact
No frost bite, no rows and none of us sacked

The cabin was bathed in a candlelit glow
Warm drinks, roaring fire, ‘til David said “No,
This is far too inviting, you shouldn’t relax
Go out and do chores till you all break your backs”


cosy cabin

 

By now we were starting to all feel at home
(‘Til Jacquie misplaced her backcombing comb)
Our spirits were high, not a shadow of doom
If Claire could find the filteration room!

Fishing in the ice sounded easy and fun
Holes drilled, five, fish caught, one
We feared we would starve, what were we do?
Thank goodness for Clara and her reindeer stew

fish

 

We mastered the sledding but on the way home
Julie’s dogs seem to follow a map of their own
And while Jacquie got sidetracked adjusting her hat
Her dogs weren’t hanging around for chat

There was so much snow, the cold didn’t abate
But an ice cold beer in the sauna was great
A fantastic treat before our meal
And an Arctic roll to make us squeal
(Yes, even you boys, we heard you when we were feeding the dogs!)

sauna

 

We set off on a trail one dark, starry night
What lay up ahead, was an igloo in sight?
A quiz about Sweden, who would be the winner?
Then into the igloo for some blindfolded dinner

And so it proceeded without any drama
‘Til David ate an egg and Dale a banana
The kicking off started as per Suzanne’s prediction
Who’d have thought a banana could cause this much friction!

egg

 

The pair soon made up and were laughing until
They noticed things had gone downhill
With throats that were burning and eyes that were stinging
Ste and Jacquie eating fish that was proper minging!

An overnight stay was hard to resist
And to warm us all up we just had to get pissed
Around the camp fire we drank, laughed and sang
To any onlooker, a right happy gang

steve igloo

 

Fast forward five hours there was less of the glee
We were all freezing cold and needed a wee
Morning came round, we reluctantly fled
Wandered dazed to the cabin and ready for bed

No time for a rest there was chores to be done
Milos has less mercy than Atilla the Hun
Poop duty for some on the day we were leaving
Adam was horrified, Dale was heaving

poo golf

 

No dodging this task for our bearded twins
Poop had to be scooped and put in the bins
There were dogs to be harnessed and sleds to prepare
With that lingering rotten fish whiff in the air

Our final sled back with no time to lose
Back to the lodge for some soup and a snooze
Then a snowmobile ride, a speed demon’s delight
Think Steven had next years Grand Prix in sight

kiruna

 

Some didn’t drive, we were tired and achy
When we stopped off for tea Claire was wired and shaky!
And one lasting memory that will be hard to shift
Is seeing Dale and Jacquie capsize in a drift

Saying goodbye to the dogs was a drag
If only we could fit just a few in our bag
But we didn’t have time to dwell on our woes
It was off to a hotel – and near normal clothes!

claire dog

 

The bed was so soft we would sleep like the dead
And Amanda could rid of that dreadful bed head
So to celebrate the end of our wonderful vacation (sorry David, team building exercise)
We dressed up to re-enter civilisation

bed head

 

A five course bonanza with a wine for each dish
Reindeer and pine shoots and non-rotting fish
The meal was fantastic, the atmosphere high
As we relived adventures of five days gone by

But the night was far from over yet
Next a bar bill to rival the national debt
It was laughter non-stop in the bar that last night
Until Dale nearly got himself into a fight

david & adam

 

So even without our lucky egg
None of us broke an arm or a leg
We handled our dogs day after day
Although we couldn’t stop Bono from running away

We faced our fear, we cleaned up muck
Jacquie gave up straighteners, Caroline said F***
Jeanette controlled the dogs, she really was a star
And Ste took out a mortgage to buy beer at the bar

steve beer

 

Now I’m not an ecologist or a soothsayer
But I doubt Claire damaged the ozone layer
Julie used her She Wee, while the rest went in the bin
We did the Hokey Kokey and put our whole selves in!

 

last night

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